I've changed so much since then. Blogs are scary that way, knowing that there's pieces of you out there that people might use to decide your value - and that those pieces don't accurately reflect the you that you've become.
Most of the titling struggle has been a moral one. I struggled with whether or not intentionally playing to emotions (via controversy) was just as foul when I do it as it is when corporate media does it. What more is doing so than manipulating people's emotions so that they will "Look at me! Look at me!" So many of us want so desperately to be looked at. I've got hundreds of words saved as a draft documenting some of my struggles with titling. It's still a draft because I decided that's not the 'About Me' I wanted people to find when they came to my blog.
The title of this piece is significant because virtually all blog pieces, regardless of the author is just as much about the author as it is the stated subject matter. About Me is true for the reader too. Psychologically, isn't the choice of whether or not to click on a headline the individual making a choice of what lesson about themselves they want to learn today?
Are we addicted to our own emotional responses because they reinforce our sense of self?
However, since I've labeled this piece About Me, all of the above should probably be left on the cutting room floor. So, about me:
I am a Broadcaster, by choice
Though I'm still not positive what it is about me that led me to make that choice, I have recognized the inherent drive to broadcast within myself. As of late, spiritually, I've come to see myself as a point of awareness that constantly emits light, but can be aware of only reflection and only through experience.
From this I have chosen to Broadcast as often as I can with as much truth as I can, in the hopes of increasing the truth in what is reflected back to me.
Here is some of that truth: I resonated with the Holstee Manifesto when I saw it. I was working as a transcriptionist in an office at the time, and I placed it prominently on my office wall.
I guess its now about 6 months later, and I've decided to give it a go. "If you don't like your job, quit." it says, and so I did. You can sit outside and reason for as long as you want. You can analyze and make predictions from now until infinity, but you'll only know once you experience it.
Follow your heart without fear and the universe will take care of the rest. That's what's being sold, really. The rub is, you have to try it to find out. It's the Tinkerbell reality, you'll see what you believe in the most. If you believe following your heart will lead to disaster and calamity, don't try it yet.
The safest route is to come to know whether or not you believe following your heart will improve your journey. This is your journey, follow your heart about whether following your heart is right for you...
I am a Writer, a Creator
I wrote the first story I remember writing in the fourth grade. I don't remember the story, but I remember that it was an assignment for 1-2 pages and I wrote 10. It felt good to write, and it felt good to go way overboard doing it. Though, dear reader, I am becoming aware of the signal to noise issue - and am finding ways of sparing you from unwanted noise. This piece is not an example of that, I've decided to live up to the blog title of "Raw Thought" on this one.
I'm hoping to revisit and reshape all of my posts here and in my conversations on G+ into a book of some sort. At the moment, I'm hoping into the sort of book that opens the right door for me to end up writing for a living. I would really like to make a living doing something that makes my living so pleasant.
I am a Conduit of Creative EnergyThere are so many possibilities that flow through my mind. The thing is, thoughts float on by. I see it as a life path I desire to function as a selective transmitter of this creative energy flow. If creative energy is the light it feels like it might be, then I would like to be a prism of that light. I want to reflect or refract the most beautiful spectrum of that light - all in the hopes that it will be reflected in All-That-Is around me, back to me.
I am a ScribeI desire to document and make available the chapters of my journey, for my journey has led through some dark places. In those dark places it is often hard to tell if you're moving at all, much less forward. It can seem as if the cave has only the opening of birth. I've traveled a path through the darkness, and I'll communicate to you in any way I can that there's light just a little ways ahead. So, I document my journey in the hopes of showing the way for those seeking guidance or reassurance.